Have you ever planned something and then have it fall apart?
I always believed that things happen for a reason, but when things didn’t work out, I would act as if my world was falling apart. It is disheartening when something you have looked forward to does not work out.
Soon, I realized how counterproductive that was to myself and my plans. By allowing myself to be affected, it was causing me to be in a negative headspace that would make it hard for me to get out.
As hard as it sounds, try to focus on being an optimist. Yes, it sounds hard, but I promise it will help change your life outlook.
Here are a few things I do to remember when things don’t go as planned.
Take a deep breath (or multiple, if needed). Life is unpredictable and sometimes, you will need to adapt to the situation. What was your Plan B, C, and D?
Find out about other options available to you, and determine what would work best for you. Ask friends and family if you need a second or third opinion. You might be surprised by what turns up when you adapt to your situation and do not let it ruin your life.
Deal with the Changes
I will be the first to admit that I do not handle change well, but I do try to deal with changes. As hard as it is, I need to realize that I shouldn’t give up when things go haywire. Things happen for a reason, and I just need to re-assess what went wrong and what went right and go on from there.
Ask for Advice
Do not feel embarrassed to ask for help or advice. For many, including myself, we feel too proud to ask for help and only do it when we are hanging from the edge of the cliff. This habit is not healthy.
Ask people you trust and are familiar with situations to give you ways to help deal with your situations. I waited until my breaking point to see a therapist to deal with my depression because I was ashamed that asking for help for my mental health would label me as weak.
It’s OK to be Disappointed
Do not get angry trying figuring out why things didn’t work out in your favor. Try to stay calm, and tell yourself that its okay to be disappointed. You are human and are allowed to express your emotions. If you bottle them up, you will find yourself in a sticky situation once you explode.
You Can’t Control Everything
I always need to remind myself that I cannot control everything, no matter how hard I try. There will always be things that you cannot control. I try to not dwell on what I can’t change, and focus on finding a solution to my problem.
When things fall apart, don’t let it make yourself fall as well. Focus on yourself and figure out what your game plan for your next move. Stay calm, and remember you got this!